aining job security helped one Manhattan librarian make the change from Micaela to Mike Waldman in 2004. Looking back, Waldman, 41, says earning tenure at Baruch College while navigating his female-to-male transition was a lot to handle.
       “If possible, don’t do them together,” he says.
       June 2004 was an important time for Waldman. He came out to his coworkers, his bosses and his human resources director. He was recovering from chest surgery and had started taking injections of testosterone. He wasn't certain how his coworkers and bosses would react, but he knew he had to come out.
       "I don't think you overcome all the apprehensions...but I was certain that this was the right path for me. My work environment was fairly liberal...so I guess on some level I trusted they would come through," Waldman says.
       Waldman, who is short and speaks with a clear but soft voice, grew up in Sao Paulo, Brazil. He didn’t have access to information about transgender people until after college, when he moved to New York. In his thirties, he started reading books about transgender people. One book, Body Alchemy, by renowned photographer Loren Cameron, caught his interest.
       “I would go [to the bookstore] and I’d look at the pictures, and there was one picture of a guy who’s Jewish, and that’s my background. But I felt very clearly that if I bought the book, that it meant something. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t have to do anything, that I could just get the book,” Waldman says.
       Waldman took a step further by attending events at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center in Greenwich Village. He then attended a gender identity themed conference to meet others who had successfully made the transition from female to male.
       “It was so nice to get the experiences, and it made it less scary. It helped me decide to start testosterone. At the conference, they shared how they were living as men and the effect was so tremendous and you could just tell that they were just happier and they were in a better place,” Waldman says.
       A few years later, having earned tenure, and centered by therapy and friends in a support group, Waldman came out at work.
       “My director was very matter-of-fact. He’s like, okay, what do we need to do so this can work? He wasn’t interested in going into my personal [life], which was nice,” Waldman says.
       Waldman met with his staff of six and emailed his other coworkers. He distributed the book Working with a Transsexual: A Guide for Coworkers to colleagues. He also began using the men’s bathroom.
       “There was the fear that I would start meeting the other men in the men's bathroom and...would they freak out since they knew my history. I just keep telling myself that I was using the men's [room] everywhere else in my life and that I was handling it okay, and that we're there just to use the bathroom. You go in, do you business, leave," Waldman says.
       The elements of Waldman’s transition fell into place. His ID card, his email and his records were changed. His work benefits did not cover the cost of his chest surgery, but hormone treatments were covered. Occasionally, Waldman has to make phone calls to make sure his health insurance covers necessities, like annual Pap smear exams.
       The transition has gone well, and Waldman recognizes that he is in a better position than other workers who have less pay and little job security. However, he feels as though he’s still in limbo when forced to check either an M or F box on important papers.
       “If it’s health insurance or something like that, I don’t want to say that I filled [the gender boxes] out. I feel like it protects me, if I need one or the other. I never fill it out. It’s problematic,” Waldman says.
       Waldman says one of the most interesting aspects of his transition is the way he’s treated by both strangers and colleagues.
       “It’s easier to be taken with more seriousness. Professionally, people will listen to you in a different way. Maybe it’s hard to separate it exactly, but it feels like you have more authority just because you’re a man. I think I’m better treated, in general, in the world,” Waldman says.
       Despite Waldman’s physical transformation, he doesn’t think he’s changed much since coming out at work. He still thinks the same way, and dresses in a similar style. He even considered whether he really needed to make the change.
       “For a while, I even thought, why do I have to transition? Why can’t I stay in this queer space, androgynous space? But in reality, it’s very difficult to live in that space, when no one knows where you are. Every time you meet someone, it’s almost like a confrontation. And it’s exhausting. I think the thing that bothered me [prior to transitioning] was that I always ended up as default woman, and that was not where I wanted to end up. I wanted the default to be a man, and when I was in that middle space, it wasn’t happening for me,” Waldman says.

Read about Stephanie Battaglino at New York Life or Gretchen Ruck at KPMG, take a quick view of trans history or have your trans questions answered.