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Nearly my entire wedding experience is different from my mom's. My fiancée Brad is not an Indian. And by the wedding date, we'll have been together through almost four years of dating and engagement. My mom and dad met through arrangement in India and knew each other for a few weeks. My wedding reception will have a first dance and a bouquet toss and plenty of dancing. My mom's reception was one long meal and then everyone went home.
So going to India together is a way for me to share at least one experience she had when she was getting ready for her marriage.
My mom and I will be doing only one thing on this trip: wedding shopping. Invitations, decorations, wedding favors, the bridesmaids' dresses and all the different outfits I'll be wearing. And we have a little less than 3 weeks to buy it all, stuff it in our suitcases and lug it back home to Los Angeles.
My mom loves shopping and I can tell she's really looking forward to this trip. She's already scouting out the latest fashions at the Indian stores in L.A. and then calling me with all the details on everything she sees. As for me, I think shopping is okay. My mom and I have gone shopping together plenty of times but this is what usually happens. A couple of hours in and she looks like she has enough energy to go on for the rest of the day. I usually just end up following her around the mall.
I'm pretty sure there will be at least a few disagreements on our expeditions in India. My mom is of the school that a woman should dress modestly. She's not a big fan of plunging necklines or high hemlines. Neither of those is an issue with Indian clothes, but the sari can be adjusted to show a lot of midriff or a little. How much I'll be showing is definitely going to be a point of discussion between us - probably a really loud discussion.
And there will be plenty of people to join in. In all my trips to India, nearly every outing - from a walk down the street to a week-long bus tour has included lots of people. It's the way extended families work. I don't think I've ever gone shopping in India with fewer than four people. A few aunts, cousins and even uncles will definitely come along and everyone will have an opinion on which color sari I should wear for the reception or which wedding favor would look best on the tables.
It sounds like a lot of trouble to travel 10-thousand miles just to go shopping when I could buy almost the same things - though with a lot less selection - a short drive from home in L.A., or even over the Internet. But as exhausting as it may be, I really want to go on this trip.
When we're surrounded by relatives in the stores, I'll remember that my mom had a similar experience before she got married. On my wedding day, my mom and my dad will both walk me down the aisle. But I won't be wearing a white wedding gown. I'll be wearing a white sari, just like my mom did.