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It might be the Caribbean in me, but every time I watch a movie with a guy I feel like he comes out humming Bob Marley
SOUND: Song: One Love
rather than a song from the soundtrack. In my mind, my date is picturing me running across a strip of hot sand in St.Kitts, my long braids flying a la Bo Derek in the movie "10." A salacious calypso song bumps and grinds in his head, feeding his untamed expectations of this island girl.
SOUND: Song: Bacchanal woman, woman. Won't you come with me?
That was "Bacchanal Lady" by David Rudder, of Trinidad, immortalizing the image of the wild island woman.
Whatever the images in the guy's head, he always makes a move by the third date.
The guy I dated last summer came on to me after we saw the movie: Man On Fire. Boy, I thought I would douse his fire. So I broke it to Mr. Computer-Consultant-for-NASA real good.
I am a C-Woman. I-Am-Celibate.
I gazed in his eyes, clasping his hand for support. He reciprocated by squeezing back, except it wasn't my hand he was squeezing. So I told him off and refused to see him again.
In October, I caught the number 3 train to Brooklyn for my third movie night with a new guy. He was a Crown Heights man with large tattoos on even larger arm muscles, thick "bling" aroung his neck and diamond studs in his ears. He wasn't my type. But I was lonely.
He complained about having to drive me back home that night. I told him I didn't want to sleep at his apartment. He asked me if it was that time of the month. I told myself: "You're not that lonely." I refused to see him again.
I began to sense a pattern. Last month with a really nice guy I had an epiphany.
I invited him to a movie. He asked me "when." Then I said, "Not this weekend because I'm behind on my master's project, but sometime next weekend."
But when the time came I was too scared to make the phone call. I froze. All I could do was think that he probably said yes because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Every time I see him now I'm so embarrassed. I look within myself for answers. You see, I think I sabotage my prospects with nice men, and that leaves me open to those unlucky experiences.
Two years ago, my first real love affair ended and I'm not ready to love again. So, until I stop stereotyping love I'll keep being elusive, moving one step ahead of heartbreak.
SOUND: Song: Bacchanal woman, woman. Won't you come with me?
You see I am not your bacchanal island woman. I never take a chance. I am a C-Woman.
I am Commitment-Phobic.
Back Announce: Valencia Grant lives the stereotypical life of a single girl on Manhattan's Upper West Side.