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NARR: My sister called last week to ask if I would be the Godfather of her two month old baby boy. She asked me the question very - carefully -- and I hesitated. We were both quiet for a few eternal seconds. There was this something we both knew we had to talk about first. It's about being Catholic.
The hardest thing I've done, in my life, was at sixteen years old, a few years After my confirmation, I sat my dad down on the carpeted staircase of our home in Kansas, and I told him that I was choosing not to go to mass anymore.
I told him then, as I believe now, that I felt that if I pursued a good and fulfilling choices, then life and anything else would just follow naturally. It's not a particularly "Catholic" way of looking at things. But if there is a God, and he's letting us just do our own little thing down here, I can only think that that's what he would want of me, too.
Well, the church and its more devout followers, of whom you can count both my father and my sister, don't exactly share my interpretation of scriptures. And though my sister knows that I only make the occasional midnight mass at Christmas time, it wasn't something we talked about. My hands started to sweat. It was just like sitting on the stairs with my Dad, and more than a decade later, I still didn't know how to Begin to have this conversation. And how could I, a person who can't even express my basic beliefs to my sister, help guide another person through the quicksand of life?
The soul in question, little baby Thomas, just gained the full use of his vision a few weeks ago. I'm not sure if it's his eyes, or his awareness, but it came to him practically overnight. It was like lifting the shade on the window in a foreign hotel room, and suddenly the room was full of light and the views were breathtaking. Now he'll sit for hours in the little teddy bear outfit they dress him in, just looking around in wonder.
It was my sister who graciously broke the silence and said, "We think you are a spiritual and good person, and -- technically -- you do fit the description. You've checked off all the requirements on the Catholic list."
"That's true, that's true," I said And I do get many of my values from the Catholic tradition.
If my sister had asked me to be Godfather before she had the baby, maybe it wouldn't have made as much sense. But they asked my Permission to share my name with this new little man, and now that baby Thomas and I have met each other eye to eye, it feels Right.
Already, I can relate to Thomas's curiosity: It's the reason I chose to go into journalism school, right, because I get to keep exploring the world around me, asking questions and hearing new stories. But now that I'm going to graduate soon and dive into real reporting, and a Career, I've been feeling a lot of pressure in the search for that elusive big paycheck. I see myself and many of my peers considering serious compromises from our dreams - from those simple motivations to choose what feels good and fulfilling that make up the core of my own beliefs.
But then there's Thomas, who smiles whenever he sees a face, and whose only drive is to discover. And to share his discoveries with the people he loves.
Just holding him reminds me of who I once was and who I want to be.
So? my sister and I came to an agreement: she accepts my take on spirituality, and I accept the the strict Catholic responsibility. To be a constant supporter, a spiritual guide, a Godfather, to this beautiful new little life. But so far, it's Thomas who has been teaching me: how to live with My eyes open, how to love without doubts, and how to follow what sparkles.
For Columbia Radio News, I'm Thomas Randall, uncle of Thomas Kennedy.